Signs to Watch For:
- Changes in sleep, eating patterns, or weight
- Changes in appearance or hygiene
- Physical aches and pains and/or lack of energy
- Loss of interest in activities
- Depressed mood
- Decreased motivation
- Comments about suicide or death
- Excessive tension or worry
- Restlessness, irritability, hyperactivity, pressured speech
- Excessive alcohol or drug use
- Decline in academic performance or drop in class attendance
- Social withdrawal
- Self-injury (e.g., cutting, scratching, or burning)
- Unusual or exaggerated response to certain events (e.g., overly suspicious, excessively agitated, or easily startled)
How to Help:
- Meet with the person privately. This will help minimize embarrassment or defensiveness.
- Share your concerns with them, pointing out specific behaviors and observations. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed that you seem more depressed, haven’t been going to class, and seem to be more withdrawn. I’m concerned about you and want to try to understand what may be going on.”
- Allow the person to talk and be prepared for resistance. Leave yourself open as a supportive listener and continue to express your concern. Keep in mind that expressing your concern may be planting a seed. Sometimes a student seeks help, such as through the Counseling Center, after a second friend or family member expresses their concern.
- Encourage the person to talk to a professional, such as a counselor, who understands the issue. Offer to accompany the person on their first visit to the Counseling Center.
- If you are feeling frustrated with your attempts to help the person, seek support and advice from the Counseling Center. You are welcome to come to the Counseling Center during Walk-In Clinic. Let the receptionist know that you would like to talk about your concern for a friend, and a counselor will be available to talk with you. A counselor will provide guidance on how to approach your friend or get them connected with the appropriate resources.
- If you are not comfortable talking with your friend directly or the person has not been willing to seek help, you may share your concern with others such as an RA, professor, or staff member in the Dean of Students Office.
For any student, sharing your concern with a staff member in the Dean of Students Office can be a great step. Please call 828-262-8284 to share your concern with a member of the Dean of Students Office (http://deanofstudents.appstate.edu/). The Dean of Students Office may enlist the help and support of others who have connections to the student.
Concerned about Possible Suicidal Thoughts?
Ask About Suicide
If you think someone is contemplating suicide, you need to ask them about suicide. If you can't ask the question, find someone who can.
Say: "Are you thinking about killing yourself?"
Ask About a Plan and Timeframe
Risk for suicide is higher when a plan is in place.
Say: "Do you know how you would kill yourself? Do you have access to that method? Do you have an idea of when you might do this?"
Be Supportive
Listen. Let the person know they are not alone and that you are there for them while they go through this.
Say: "We are going to get through this. You are not alone."
For more tips on how to help someone who is thinking about suicide, check out the guide on Help for a Friend as well as other resources at preventsuicide.appstate.edu
Helpful Resources:
- If you want more help knowing how you can respond to your friend in helpful ways, check out this 3-minute video on ways to express empathy
- If your friend minimizes or is not sure if they have a problem, suggest checking out the Counseling Center’s free online screenings for depression, anxiety, eating disorders, alcohol use, bipolar disorder, and traumatic stress. The anonymous screening will provide your friend with feedback and recommendations.
- Check out CUThrive for an online database of helpful articles, videos, and more about college student mental health.
