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Anger Management

We have all felt angry at some point in our lives. Mad, irritated, annoyed, resentful, and enraged are some related feelings that are on the anger spectrum. Feeling angry is a normal part of life, but it’s how we choose to deal with our angry feelings that makes the difference. Acting out our anger through physical or verbal aggression – or even more passive aggression such as ignoring – can create problems in our lives. Poorly-managed anger can affect our relationships with partners, friends, and co-workers, cause legal problems, make it difficult to concentrate on school, and affect our physical health.   

Signs of Anger Problems:

  • Feeling angry, mad, or irritated more often or more intensely than you think is helpful
  • Experiencing anger that you know is out of proportion to the situation
  • A tendency to hold in your angry feelings until you “explode”
  • A pattern of verbally attacking or lashing out at others
  • Acting out your anger through physical means, such as throwing objects, punching walls, or grabbing, pushing, punching, holding, or assaulting others in some way
  • Being told that you have an anger problem. We sometimes have difficulty recognizing our own behaviors, but if someone – especially someone close to you or more than one person – has told you that you do not handle anger well, it is worth considering further.

Things You Can Do*

  • Express your feelings in an assertive – not an aggressive – manner. Make clear what your needs are without lashing out or hurting others.
  • Use exercise to burn off the angry energy and de-stress.
  • Incorporate relaxation techniques, meditation, or mindfulness to help reduce stress and angry feelings.
  • Use humor more often.
  • Learn to modify your “self-talk.” The thoughts that we have and the way we talk to ourselves can often “fuel the fire” of anger.
  • Learn more about anger management. Two good resources:  
  • Talk with a counselor to tailor a plan for managing anger that fits for you. 

Help is Available

It may benefit you to talk to someone at the Counseling Center. Stop by during our Initial Consultation hours Monday-Friday 8:30-11:00 a.m. & 1:00-4:00 p.m., or call (828) 262-3180. We can talk with you about your concerns. You may also learn more by checking our other links, or completing an online screening.

Crisis Services

If you or another AppState student is experiencing suicidal and/or homicidal thoughts or experiencing trauma in regard to a sexual assault, you may contact us after hours by calling the Counseling Center at (828) 262-3180 and select the option to speak with the counselor on call.

*Many of the above suggestions were adapted from the American Psychological Association. Please see their stie for the full text of the brochure "Controlling Anger – Before It Controls You".